Justin (is) Weird

Today's story was written by our good friend Austin. But before I post his story, you should know something about Austin. He is, in actuality, the alternate universe future version of Justin. They are the same person, but Austin is a few years in the future. And as you can see by The Diagram, Austin is just Justin if he was stretched out tall and thin.

The Diagram (TM)

They have the same hair, the same goatee (sometimes), the same sense of humor, the same taste in movies and video games, and even their names are only one letter apart. So, knowing what you know now about Austin, I can let you read his story.

Ok - so here's the story.  A few years ago, I was bedding down with our convention crowd before Animefest one year.  There wasn't much in the way of places to sleep.  A few folks were in beds, but Justin and I (being the rugged cats we are) were making due on the floor. Now I am not the type of person who really has trouble sleeping, or wakes up at the slightest sound; I've slept though a firetruck parked in front of my bedroom before without any discernible disturbance.

When I say that the sheer volume of justin's snoring woke me out of a sound sleep, I hope you appreciate the magnitude of what I mean.  His snoring was the same volume as someone yelling.  Since that day, I have tried to replicate the sheer amplitude of the sound he made that night, and every single time, I end up in pain before I can reach that level.  

I do not react well to being woken up, as most people tend not to do.  Now Justin is at my feet, as we are both sleeping in the walkway between the foot (feet?) of the beds and the wall.  I try to shake him awake by judging his pillow with my foot.  Nudge nudge nudge... silence. Blissful wonderful silence.... for all of five seconds.  This went on for a while, I'd nudge him, he'd stop, and then immediately start back up again like one of those damn birthday candles they get you when you were a kid that refused to go out that the adults thought were SO funny but they seemed to miss out on the fact that in taking away your ability to blow out the candles they were robbing you of a wish!

Eventually, I had enough, and I slapped the guy in the face with the flat part of my foot. One strike did nothing, and I don't know how many times I kicked him in the head before he reacted, but eventually he stat up as if propelled by springs and stated in a loud, almost zombie-like voice "MY VIBRATIONAL CAPACITY IS GREATER THAN YOURS."  He then fell immediately back to his pallet and began snoring again.  

It was at that point I realized that I had headphones.